My Top 8 Things That Really Matter in a Partner

I wrote a “List of Perfection” many years ago with my mother over a coffee. It was a fun little bonding moment, brainstorming a bunch of traits and characteristics that my ideal partner would have – 63(!) at the last count. I added things and took things away over the years, and would whip it out, half-jokingly, whenever it started getting semi-serious with someone I was dating. Now, a mere month before I officially enter my late-20s, after two years of being single, it doesn’t feel right anymore. Or rather, it feels like I should write down what really matters, as an exercise of manifestation. I don’t know if it will achieve anything as wonderful as, you know, meeting ~you~, but it will help me feel like I am doing something positive and productive for my love life (or lack thereof).. So, here goes. The top 8 things that actually matter to me in a partner, in no particular order.

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On Being Alone

I roll over and reach for my phone to check the time. 8:30. The perfect sleep in on a rare day off. My hand then travels automatically a little ways down the bed to land on the cat’s head. She chirps good morning, then stretches into a crescent moon so I can pat her tummy once, twice, three times. I smile as my day unfurls in front of me. No work. No plans. No obligations. Just me, spending my time however I want to spend it. Bliss.

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The Problem with Modern Dating

Something about modern dating doesn’t sit right with me. While I’m not one to glorify the past, there was a certain je ne sais quoi about courting and old school monogamy that the hopeless romantic in me is admittedly fond of. I have talked about online dating before, and said that I use dating apps while simultaneously wishing they didn’t exist. But aside from (though undoubtedly encouraged by) these apps, I think it comes down to technology as a whole, and the effect it has had on our interpersonal skills. Or rather, lack thereof. And therein lies the problem with modern dating.

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Why Having a Type is Normal but Limiting

Tall, dark and handsome. Short, curvy and funny. Covered in tattoos, with green eyes, a nose ring, and a PhD. When you ask someone if they have a type, chances are they will have a pre-rehearsed line like this. Some people are more specific; some only have a trait or two. Some will focus more on physical characteristics, and others only mention personality. I was curious about your answer to the question “Do you have a “type”? If yes, what is it?” and I was excited to see such a range of responses.
Here is a selection to whet your appetite.  

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5 Signs You Have Chemistry With Someone

Chemistry, or the connection you feel with other people, is still a bit of a mystery. Scientists and psychologists both have been trying to work it out for years, and while some strides have been made, the phenomenon has never been fully explained. The jury is still well and truly out on this one. Is it just that some people make your hormones perk up and pay attention that lends to that sense of attraction? Is it shared values, easy conversation, a lot of laughter? Or is it some inexplicable, otherworldly thing that we will probably never understand? The general consensus is that it’s a tantalising mix of all three. So, what are the top 5 signs you have chemistry with someone? Let’s find out.

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10 Tips for Healing Heartbreak

“Grief is the price we pay for love.”  


Queen Elizabeth II

There are two kinds of people in the world: those who have experienced heartbreak, and those who will. It is simply part of being human, so at the very least you can take comfort knowing that in this, you are certainly not alone.

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Heightism is a Real Thing

I have a confession to make: I’m not attracted to short men. I know, I know, for someone who preaches equality and encourages people to embrace differences because we are all beautiful in our own way, I have some explaining to do. So, let me explain.

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My First Proper Date With a Woman

Sexuality has never been a big deal for me. Growing up, my mum dated women and men at different times, and I understood from a young age that sexuality is fluid. I have always identified with pansexual (attraction towards people regardless of their sex or gender identity) because I’m attracted to a person for who they are and how they make me feel – full stop. But I only went on my first date with a woman at the ripe old age of 25.

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Online Dating Opening Message Do’s and Don’ts

Online dating isn’t for everyone. You have to be able to handle undue criticism and random inappropriate outbursts from people you’ve never met. You must be willing to rattle off your life story and answer the same questions over and over again with a smile on your face. You should learn to spot the red flags early on, leaving those rose-coloured glasses buried at the bottom of your bag lest they all just look like regular quirks instead of signs that you should run very far, very fast. If you do dabble in dating apps, you will know firsthand how important opening messages are. So, what are online dating first message do’s and don’ts? Let’s dive into my inbox and find out.

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