Chemistry, or the connection you feel with other people, is still a bit of a mystery. Scientists and psychologists both have been trying to work it out for years, and while some strides have been made, the phenomenon has never been fully explained. The jury is still well and truly out on this one. Is it just that some people make your hormones perk up and pay attention that lends to that sense of attraction? Is it shared values, easy conversation, a lot of laughter? Or is it some inexplicable, otherworldly thing that we will probably never understand? The general consensus is that it’s a tantalising mix of all three. So, what are the top 5 signs you have chemistry with someone? Let’s find out.

When you first meet someone, whether on a scheduled date or out of the blue, it becomes clear pretty quickly if they are your sort of person; if you mesh well. I find it easiest to understand like this: spending time with some people feels like a chore, and you would honestly rather be alone than in their company. With others, those with whom you share that spark of connection, you feel completely at ease. I always say to people that, as someone who is typically quite introverted, I know it’s something special when I enjoy their company more than I enjoy my own.

While the feeling is currently understood to be a combination of nature, nurture, and mystery, there are a few telltale signs that you’ve got strong chemistry, and that perhaps they are someone you should pursue, whether in a romantic sense or just to form a solid friendship or even a business relationship.

1. Prolonged eye contact

Eye contact is a real skill. Some people are better at it than others, and this may have to do with a range of things, from their upbringing to their current mental state. But one thing is for sure: when two people like each other, they lock eyes more often, and for longer. Prolonged eye contact is known to trigger the release of oxytocin, the “love” or “bonding” hormone, so you know when you catch yourself gazing into someone’s eyes that there is a little something going on.

2. Lots of laughter

This is one of my personal favourites. There is nothing quite like meeting someone whose humour bounces so well off your own, you find yourselves in fits of giggles throughout the entire exchange. Humour is such a nuanced and unique thing that finding someone who makes you laugh a lot is very special indeed. Pay attention to the flow of humour: there is a difference between someone making you laugh like a comedian does, by making jokes and waiting for your reaction, and two people making each other laugh equally and easily. That’s the real magic.

3. Feelin’ touchy

If you wanna scoot closer to someone you just met, chances are pretty strong that you’ve got chemistry with them. When you find yourself repeatedly reaching out to playfully smack their shoulder or brush their hand, or notice that they hug you with all chakras aligned (you know the hugs I mean), all systems are go. I mean, definitely still check with them first. Consent is key, kids.

4. Mutual curiosity

I don’t want to say banter, so I won’t, but mutual curiosity is so, so important and very indicative of a good connection. Notice if they are only talking about themselves, occasionally interjecting with an obligatory “and you?”, looking off into the distance while you respond (the worst), or if you are both asking thoughtful, open ended questions that keep the conversation flowing. If you both feel genuinely excited about and interested in what the other person has to say, that’s a very good sign indeed.

5. They smell great

This may sound a little strange if you haven’t heard of it before, but it’s definitely a thing. This is where the biology side of things really comes in. If you like the way someone smells – and I don’t mean the perfume or cologne they wear – it’s likely you are well suited, at least physically. The reason you may not have heard of it is because it’s totally subconscious. Our sniffers pick up on genetic markers in someone’s body odour that tell us whether we would make healthy offspring. Nice.

(The intriguing thing about all these points is that one could argue they not only indicate chemistry, but cause it. Try to wrap your head around that one.)

At the end of the day, no matter the potential cause, with some people you simply experience that innate sense of rightness. If you don’t have that, nothing else really matters (that’s not to say it’s all that matters – more on that later). You could match up perfectly on paper, but if you meet and just don’t feel it, listen to your gut and move on.

What signs point to good chemistry in your experience? Leave a comment below!

This all begs the question, is having a “type” valid, or is it all about chemistry? Check back next week for those juicy thoughts.

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